odi
et nunc amo
by
Siovahn A. Walker
midnight
finds me still pressing the hand upon the heart
that from the very beginning was but a feeble guard
against the welter of suppression which has yet to show
that shunting is truly the best pretence when odi et nunc
amo
I
encounter suggestions that would bleed if turned away
so there is little genuine question about
what scheme will end-prevail
yet that one impulse may mount the other, providing food
to grow
I press on through thronging perturbations, as odi,nunc
amo
but
such action belies the incertitude of my macabre resign
and makes it seem that I hold fast despite the changing
tides
that wiser than a Solomon, I'm all constancy in vote
able to rule myself withal, though odi et nunc amo
but
truth is far more weary, it is a great deal more unkind
for what I feel and what I show are not of jointed mind
and this persevering silence is a servant of my woe
I linger here not from design, but because odi et nunc
amo
indeed,
if I could regain my first impressions and still abominate
I would be easier after dark, more certain of my fate
but now that body hungers after what it first did loathe
there are no easy answers, and though odi, nunc amo
so
you may bear me witness, (if you've not already sojourned
here)
know that this is a quandary not to be wished upon a hated
peer
for prior opinion lingers, with all the reasons that it
loved
side by side with novel ardour, for the one who odi et
nunc amo
indeed
I'm less a union than a corporeal dissent
with heart and mind on different sides of that proverbial
offence
I crave what I reviled, then reject what I once chose
adult and child, unfurled and filed, odi et nunc amo
©
2007 by Siovahn A. Walker
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